Too long....

It's been too long since I've really made a post. The 4th trimester has been something else! For those that have been through, you know what I mean. It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't. In a nutshell, the first 6 weeks were the most challenging of my life, the last 6 weeks have been some of the best. There are still some challenging moments and even days, but Evan has been amazing. And so much fun and tremendously cute these last few weeks.

It has been the greatest joy to see him grow into the little baby he is now. I can just stare at him and laugh with him for hours. I am just amazed by the spark of personality he shows; his smile, his winks, his cooing and squealing in delight. They are all such a "can't miss" moment. (Thank goodness for good iPhone cameras!)

It is also such a joy to really see this family develop and change. So many adventures, so many laughs and tears, highs and lows, successes and failures await us on this journey ahead. But I know that the bonds this we are making now will serve us well down the road. And not just the bonds with Evan. The bond that is growing and changing between Timnah and I is really exciting too. We have been so in love lately. It's been a new kind of love; one born out of a need to stick together in tough times and sleepless nights, one from admiration and respect in watching the other parent, one from a place of joy in seeing the love for Evan. It's new, but we are seeing it develop in real time and it's exciting for us.

Evan is teaching me a lot about myself too. He's showing me my weaknesses and forcing me to admit them, address them and move past them. My quick temper and short fuze, my insatiable desire for everything to be perfect and on my terms, my expectations for what I think should happen......all these things need to change for the better and quickly. And they will--I'm committed to it. But Evan is also helping me strengthen myself. He's helping me realize I need to turn to God more and let Him handle what I can't. Evan is helping me be more compassionate and caring-especially when I can't solve what's happening and I just need to love on him. He's making me a more efficient worker and work-outer too!!! I always knew that this new phase in my life was going to be a real test, but I didn't expect so much testing so quickly!

Being a dad is really amazing. Striving and failing and striving again to be a great dad and a great husband is fun for me. I want to be as good as I can be. Evan is the greatest thing that i have been a part of and my greatest joy. Life is very full right now and very blessed. I am strapped in, pedal to the metal and along for this crazy ride.

Thank you for all the support along the way! Timnah and I are truly blessed to have friends and family that have been supportive of us and Evan!

Be well. Be in the now.

Josh